SIGNING CHEQUES NOT CONSENT FORMS
Lately on social media, specifically twitter, women have been naming and shaming their abusers (cheers to that).
Unfortunately, the conversation went from having important conversations like verbal sexual coercion, consent to deteriorating to conversations like to creating a ‘sexual consent form’ and installing CCTV in the room. This post is dedicated to analyzing that is the ridiculousness of sexual consent form and installing CCTV in your room.
Let me start by saying that recording someone without their consent is illegal. I am seriously doubting people that are suggesting that installation of CCTV would tell everyone that they would have sex with in that room that there is a CCTV camera. If you do not have the intention of creating a sex tape, then why do you want to have CCTV camera present for sex? In fact, it seems like you might be the type to be blackmailing people with their sex videos.
Now to the koko , what is a sexual consent form?
The sexual consent form is a written agreement that relays in clear terms the intent of two consenting adults to participate in sexual acts together. I attached an example below
On the surface, there seems to be no problem with it but let’s look at it critically. I am going to highlight situations where the consent form actually does harm.
1 Let’s imagine I am coerced into signing this form and I am forced to have sex against my will. Would this form mean what is happening isn’t rape?
2 So I sign this form then the person begins to deviate from what is in the form. I then resist and the person proceeds anyway, does this form mean I am not being raped?
3 Imagine a case where I sign the form and the person isn’t performing like I expected. I am not enjoying the sex then I say,”okay I am no longer interested”. I say stop but the person ignores me, would that mean that isn’t rape?
I think we can all agree at this point that attaching sexual consent form to something as nuanced as consent is very silly.
Before you say that the solution is “don’t have sex before marriage” sorry to break it to you but that’s not the answer. Consent doesn’t disappear because you are married to the person. The solution is a proper understanding of consent. We should all learn discipline to avoid stories that touch the heart . On that note, I am signing cheques and not consent forms.
SIDE NOTE: In this Coronavirus period don’t forget to
1 wash your hands,
2 practice social distancing in essence don’t go out if you do not need to,
3 Avoid touching your face, wear face mask and
4 If you show any symptoms , reach out to the NCDC and other relevant authorities.
BE SAFE!
